Sep 1 2015 MusingsCategory: General     10:38PM   0

“Always be a first rate version of yourself and not a second rate version of someone else.”  - Judy Garland

As with anything else, decisions about how to present oneself to potential suitors have inherent advantages and disadvantages. I'm not naive to the reality that one of the downsides of having a polished website, not accepting explicit reviews, and being a low-volume companion is that I run the risk of appearing "not real enough." What an interesting conundrum that is!

I don't believe it's in my nature to feel fulfilled by taking the easy road, if there is such a thing. Who really wants someone who does the minimum requirement? The reality is that I've always been an over-achiever--sometimes to my own detriment. But at some point many years ago, I realized that bringing more joy into my life would require me to institute my own perfectionism intervention. Since then, the deliberate shift from "doing well" to "being well" has at times been (and at times continues to be) a winding road with many switchbacks. The journey has weaved through intense pleasures, deep pains, and priceless a-ha moments (to say nothing of the material investments that were often necessary to experience them!). Part of what those experiences have taught me is that it's OK to take pride in things that are important to me.

My choices about "professionalizing" (especially in terms of establishing a permanent web presence and choosing a review policy) are important to me, and in many ways they reflect a lot about who I am. It's unfortunate if that is ever perceived as "not real," but if that's the cost of being "a first rate version of myself," I'm happy to pay it.

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